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Lamby's Mission of Love & Fleece on EarthLamby's Favorite Aesop's Fables

The Wolf and the Crane
Aesop's Fable edited by D. Byron Patterson
dramatic re-imagining by Lamby

After dinner one night, Wolf got a small bone stuck in his throat. He couldn't swallow it and felt terrible pain as he gagged and coughed. He ran up and down the forest hill groaning and seeking for something or somebody to help the pain or remove the bone.

Since Wolf tried to eat most of those somebodies, they kept away. "I'd give anything if somebody would take it out," he cried. At last, Crane, a very greedy sneaky bird, agreed to try. He told Wolf to lie on his side and open his jaws as wide as he could. Crane put its long neck down Wolf's throat, and with its beak loosened up the bone until it was out.

Wolf thanked him and started off, but Crane said, "Hey, Wolf, how about the reward you promised? Remember that time when you said that you'd give anything?"

Wolf turned and grinned, showing his teeth as he said, "Hey, Crane, I thanked you, so be happy that you still have your head. Remember that time when you put your beak inside my mouth and then took it out again safely? That ought to be reward enough for you, don't you think, birdy-bird?"

The Lesson: Gratitude and greed don't go well together, but you better think twice about helping out someone who might eat you any other time he doesn't need your help. That's what I always say.

 

The Wolf and the Lamb
Aesop's Fable edited by D. Byron Patterson
dramatic re-imagining by Lamby

Once upon a time a Wolf was drinking at the hillside spring, when what to his wandering eyes should appear, but a Lamb girl just beginning to drink a little lower down the bank. "Supper," thought Wolf. "Now, if only I can find an excuse to get that delicious little innocent Lamb." Wolf got an idea and called out to the Lamb, "How dare you put your germs into the water from which I am also drinking? What kind of Lamb are you?"

"MmmmBAH," said the Lamb, smacking her lips. "If the water has cooties in it, then it's not my fault because it runs down from you to me, you big hairy dirty slobbery missing dog link."

"Well, then," said the Wolf, a bit confused at the Lamb's fancy talk, "why did you call me bad names this time last year? And in this same place?"

"That can't be," said the Lamb, "I am only six months-old, you stinky old bottle brush, and I do believe that I'm calling you bad names right now, or do you have a hard time differentiating present from past? MmmBaa!"

"I don't care if it's now or yesterday," snarled the Wolf. "And I don't care if it was you or your papa. I'm still gonna eat you -- now get in my belly!" With that he rushed upon that little Lamb, who didn't move when the Wolf said, "WARRA WARRA WARRA WARRA WARRA" as he swallowed her in one gulp. You might be thinking, poor little Lamb, but you'd be thinking wrong. Before the Wolf could lick his lips, his tummy exploded.

Then, the Lamb popped out just fine and dandy. "Blech. Good thing I am a magical, non-edible Lamb," she said and hopped into the water to clean off the wolf guts. Shaking her wool of water, she went home, hoping to find some fresh oats and ivy or a patch of green clover on the way.

The Lesson: Never eat a Lamb because Lambs always explode out of your tummy like Alien.

 

The Lion's Share
Aesop's Fable edited by D. Byron Patterson
dramatic re-imagining by Lamby

One day, Lion went hunting with Fox, Jackal, and Wolf. They hunted a large deer named Stalin, a mean and cruel dictator deer who liked to set baby chipmunks on fire for no reason. They caught that very bad deer, but there were four of them, so they wondered how they were going to split him for dinner time. Lion roared and told the animals to do it, and when they cut the deer into four parts, he said, "This first part is for me because I'm the King of Beasts. The second is mine as well because it was my idea. This third part is for chasing him. And this fourth part? Well, you can have it if you can tell me a good reason why you should."

"Humph," grumbled Fox, who walked away with his tail between his legs.

"You're a big meanie," said Wolf, who spied a little Lamb drinking along the hillside stream.

"Not fair," said Jackal, who (feeling brave) walked up to Lion and popped him on the snout like Dorothy did in The Wizard of Oz. "You big bully, you should be ashamed of yourself for being so greedy. I'd like a little bit of deer, if you don't mind, and because you don't have to be stingy, I'll just take this --" And so Lion had an appetizer before dinner that night.

The Lesson: Don't ever hit a hungry lion on the snout, not even if you're very brave and have an important thing to say. That Lion will eat you.

 

The Fox & the Cat
Aesop's Fable edited by D. Byron Patterson
dramatic reading by Lamby

One day, Fox and Cat were talking. Then the Fox told the Cat, "Bag of tricks! I got a hundred different ways that I can get away and escape from anybody who comes after me." The Cat said, "I have only one." Just at that moment there was a bunch of dogs coming after them. That's when the Cat jumped up in the tree and hid. "What are you going to do, Fox?" The Fox was thinking and thinking as the dogs were coming. He was trying to figure out: "I've got a hundred different ways in my bag of tricks!" And then the dogs killed the Fox.

The Lesson: "Better one safe way than a hundred that you can't decide on."

 

The Mouse & the Lion
Aesop's Fable edited by D. Byron Patterson
dramatic re-imagining by Lamby

In a mighty jungle, Lion King Barney was sleeping near a peaceful village where a mouse named Murray was running from an owl. Murry accidentally bumped the lion's paw and woke him, and just as King Barney was about to swallow him whole, the mouse got an idea. "Please don't eat me, Great King Barney," he said. "For one day, a wee mouse named Murray might be the only one who can help you." Agreeing to let him go, Barney watched him scamper off into the jungle. The following night, hunters trapped the sleeping lion and then went off to find a cage wagon. It was then that little Murray passed King Barney, who was tied to a tree. "Hush, your Majesty, and never fear, Great King." A wee Murry chewed away the ropes and freed Barney, who then promised friendship and protection for as long as they lived.

The Lesson: If you think about it, even the littlest of people could become the very biggest of friends. Well, except if that littlest of people person just happens to be a big fat amoeba that doesn't do much.

The Rooster and the Pearl
Aesop's Fable edited by D. Byron Patterson
dramatic re-imagining by Lamby

Rooster was strutting up and down the farmyard by the henhouse when suddenly he saw something shiny in the straw. "Ho! ho! Doodle-Doo, that's mine!" He rooted it out from beneath the straw, and it turned out to be a pearl that somebody lost in the yard. Rooster got all philosiphizy and said to nobody in particular (and showing off at the same time), "You might be a treasure to people that like you in that way, but for me, I'm a practical guy, and I'd rather have one piece of corn than a peck of these pearls. A doodle!" Rooster threw the pearl away and went on about his roostery business, flirting with all them girl chickens and looking for feed corn in all the wrong places.

The Lesson: Precious things are for people who prize them, which is to say that birds have a hard time seeing that good pearls go for lots of money. That Rooster could have bought all the corn he wanted if he hadn't been showing off for them clucky chicken ladies.

 

The Dog's Shadow
Aesop's Fable edited by D. Byron Patterson
dramatic reading by Lamby

One day a Dog got a bone and was carrying it home in his mouth to eat it in peace. On his way, he had to cross a plank lying across a little stream. As he crossed, he looked down and saw his shadow reflected in the water. Thinking it was another dog with another bone, he decided to be greedy and get that dog's bone too. Dog made a snap at the shadow in the water, but when he opened his mouth, his bone dropped and sank to the bottom of the stream.

The Lesson: Chasing shadows can be tricky, but how about not chase them when you already have some dinner? That just makes you a stingy fat pig dog. Also, if Dog had stayed in school, he would have learned all about how the reflections in water aren't real. I guess that made him a dropout stingy fat pig dog.

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